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How To Heal Yourself By Talking To Your Body: Your Cells Are Listening

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How To Heal Yourself By Talking To Your Body: Your Cells Are Listening
Photo Credit: Self Develop Shop
Your Cells Are Listening
Every Part Of Your Body Has Its Own Consciousness Or Its Own Soul!

These transformative words, spoken by indigenous medicine women, began my journey within to discover the extraordinary healing capacity of the human body.

When this perspective was introduced to me, I was suffering from a severe chronic pain disorder.I suddenly imagined incorporating this concept into my meditation routine.

I thought, Can my body hear me…can I talk to it to gain its cooperation in healing this condition?

The Path To Freedom

That night, after reaching a state of deep calm through meditation, I inwardly engaged my body in a heartfelt conversation, with hope, but having no idea what to expect. After about one hour of this focused communication, something amazing happened.

My tissues began to respond. Connective tissue pulled and stretched apart layers of scar tissue. Nerves fired and my calf muscles began to perform flexion and extension exercises independently of my conscious control.

As this response continued, one of my calf muscles that had become paralyzed by the neuropathic condition — diagnosed as Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy — came back to life as electric-like jolts shot through the area.

My heart pounded as I realized that the path to my freedom from this condition had finally begun. 

Guidelines For Dynamic Healing

With a background in acupuncture and Oriental medicine, I knew too well how prevalent chronic pain is in this country and I wondered what the implications of this phenomenon could mean to so many others who were suffering. 

As I continued to make progress with my condition, I organized my approach into a system that I could teach to clients and shifted my professional focus to hypnotherapy.

When instructing my clients, I explain that a regular meditation practice is necessary to train the brain to enter alpha and theta brain wave states. While in these states, communication between the conscious mind and the physical body is dramatically enhanced. 

I have found that when communicating, there are three key steps to gaining the cooperation of the body:

  • Approach your body with genuine compassion, understanding that it is made up of conscious cells who experience emotions.
  • Build trust by engaging your body in mental conversations about your desire for the two of you to cooperate and overcome the ailment.
  • Allow changes in the conversation by using different thoughts and words that elicit spontaneous elevated emotions.

From my experience, the above guidelines are necessary to achieve dynamic healing responses in the body.

Image source: Antara Healing Arts
The Force Of Human Intention

I recently came across a very similar set of factors that were discovered by researcher Cleve Backster, who spent 36 years studying bio communication in plant, animal and human cells. He referred to these factors as real intent, attunement, and spontaneity.

Backster, formerly an interrogation specialist for the CIA, wrote about the defining moment which led him to his real work in this world, in his book Primary Perception

This moment occurred one February morning in 1966 when he decided to monitor the Dracaena plant in his lab utilizing polygraph equipment.

He attached the electrodes to a leaf and began to think about ways that he might induce a surge in electrical activity in the plant. In humans this surge in electrical activity is associated with intense emotions.

He suddenly imagined burning the electroded leaf. The same instant this idea entered his mind, the polygraph pen shot to the top of the chart showing an extreme reaction on the part of the plant. Amazed, he walked to his secretary’s desk to retrieve a set of matches while pondering the possibility that this plant was somehow detecting the force of human intention.

Can Plants Become Attuned To Their Primary Care Takers?

When he returned with the matches, the plant was still showing the same high level reaction which would interfere with tracking additional changes on the chart. Backster decided to “remove the threat” by returning the matches to the desk.

At this point, the chart displayed a downward trend as the plant apparently began to calm down. When Backster attempted to repeat the same results by pretending that he was going to burn the plant, there was no reaction. The plant seemed to sense the difference between real and artificial intent.

He eventually discovered that plants become attuned to their primary care takers, responding to both their positive and negative emotions and to their return after being away for a time. Chart findings also showed that plants prioritize the emotions of their primary care takers over the emotions of others nearby.

Signs Of Consciousness

Backster later expanded his research to include testing human cells for signs of consciousness.

He collected white blood cells from human donors, electroded them in a test tube and then recorded the cells’ reactions as the donors experienced different emotional states. He found that spontaneous emotions were necessary in order to elicit an electrical reaction in the cells. 

For instance, if a donor forced herself to feel an emotion, the cells would not respond. However, when she received a distressing phone call from her daughter, the cells reacted significantly.

He noted that distance seemed to be irrelevant in these experiments. For example, a donor left his electroded cells behind in the lab, then kept a detailed log of any stressful emotions experienced on his trip home to another state, such as missing a turn on the freeway, standing in a long line at the airport, and the take-off of his plane.

Later, his logged incidents compared with the chart recording showed strong correlations between the timing of the stressful events and the electrical reactions in his cells. The chart became quiet again when he arrived home and went to sleep.

Raw Creative Healing Ability

These experiments were conducted while using equipment that screened out electromagnetic radiation — the usual energies used for information transmission. The cells behaved as if the screens weren’t there, suggesting that this communication is carried by a field still unidentified by conventional science.

Some scientists believe that the further development of quantum physics may help guide us to understand this field that communicates emotional intent between living things. Quantum Entanglement is a process where two particles of matter which have interacted with each other, still behave as if they are connected after being separated by many miles. 

When an energetic change is made to the properties (position, momentum and rotational spin) of one of the particles, the properties of the other distant particle will change at the same instant.

This scientific phenomenon and the research of Cleve Backster, point to the Eastern concept of oneness — the view that all of nature is interdependent. Ancient cultures understood this interconnection as a living universal energy field that sustains life while guiding the evolution of consciousness throughout the universe.

The meditation techniques involved in my practice bring the mind into attunement with this field.  Energy from this field is then focused into a physical healing event through clear intention — delivered by means of a conversation that evokes spontaneous emotions — and attunes the physical body to the conscious mind.

This method which I call Antara (Sanskrit for within), enables one to experience the raw creative healing ability generated by an alliance of the mind and body with this living universal energy field.

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The Chemistry Of Stress & How It Affects Your Health

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The Chemistry of Stress & How It Affects Your Health
Photo Credit: Collective Evolution

During my general practice, I often encounter many cases that stem from stress. Gastritis is one of the common clinical presentations that come in O.P. A thorough evaluation of the patient’s day will clearly explain why he developed gastritis (stress), and most patients have no problem admitting that they had a stressful day. And so, quite often, I am treating a psychological problem which was manifested as a physical one.

In an interesting study conducted in prisoners of the World War II, it was found that the risk of developing peptic ulcer was twice higher than that of the controls. There are several other issues, like stress induced hypertension, diabetes, bronchial asthma, infections, etc., which come to an O.P. This might make one wonder why stress can cause so many clinical disorders. I will explain why this happens in this article.

In our daily life we often undergo stressful situations. There is no avoiding them. The stress that one experiences is nothing but the response of the body to its outer environment and the mind to its inner fears. These inner fears may be the result of anything, from an examination, one’s family, a job or responsibility, or an encounter with a person or situation one dislikes, etc. (1)

Do You Know What Exactly Happens To The Body When We Are Stressed?

Imagine that you have met with an accident. What happens next? The adrenal gland, which is located just above the kidneys, responds to the accident by releasing an emergency hormone known as adrenaline into the bloodstream. This hormone helps in combating daily life stress by changing the body physiology. The adrenaline decreases the flow of blood to the gut and shunts the blood to the body muscles to tackle the tough situation the body is faced with. This gives your muscles more energy to combat the accident. The adrenaline produced at that time shuts down the functioning of the immune system and gut by decreasing their blood supply. This is known as the flight or fight response. This natural response is one of the greatest gifts the human body has for combating external threats that we often encounter in our daily life. This response gives us more power and energy to survive any external threats (like accidents, being chased by wild animals, etc.). (1)

This was also the case for our ancient ancestors. One flight-fight response would save their life from wild animals. This response is present in every animal to combat their enemies and to save their life from predators. Once the external threat vanishes, the flight-fight response subsides and the body restores its normal functioning. (1)

But this begs the question, why does modern man face this much stress in the absence of predators?

Normally, when an external threat is removed, adrenaline production halts and the body will restore its normal functioning. But when we are stressed and the threat is internal (negative thoughts and negative emotions), the production of adrenaline is constant. This will cause deleterious and harmful effects to the body unless the internal threat — “the stress” — are managed. In this situation, “stress” the hormone causes more harm than good. (1)

Do You Know Why And How Exactly Negative Thoughts Impact The Body?

The latest research reveals that this adrenaline is not only produced while combating an accident, threat, or disaster, but also when we are stressed more generally. Stress is indeed the disease of modern man. It follows him wherever he goes, and research shows that “the adrenaline is even produced in the body when a person undergoes a negative thought in his mind, or even when he feels negative emotions” and “the adrenaline is produced the same moment he experience negative thoughts and negative emotion.” The fact is that “there is no time lag between production of adrenaline and negative thoughts that pass through his mind or the negative emotions he feels within.” (1)

So how badly will this Adrenaline affect our body? Adrenaline causes the following:

(1) Increased blood sugar: Adrenaline increases glucose production from liver to blood and decreases the production of insulin, thereby raising blood sugar. This predisposes someone to diabetes mellitus. (1)

(2) Increased blood pressure: Adrenaline increases blood pressure by constricting arterioles and veins, thereby raising blood pressure. This predisposes someone to hypertension. (1)

(3) Increased risk of cardiac diseases: Adrenaline increases the rate, force, and contraction of heart muscles and causes arrhythmias. Concurrent stimulation of the heart due to stress can place an increased workload on the heart, leading to increased chances of getting a heart attack. Women have a premenopausal estrogen that protects them from stress related heart disease. (1)

(4) Obesity: Adrenaline can move fat from storage depots and relocate it to fat cell deposits in the abdomen. This causes an increase in body mass index and generates obesity. Obesity is one of the risk factors for developing diabetes and coronary artery disease. (1)

(5) Indigestion and chronic constipation: Adrenaline decreases blood supply to the gut, decreases peristalsis of the bowel, and increases sphincter tone by acting on its receptors. This leads to indigestion and chronic constipation. (1)

(6) Increases susceptibility to bacterial, fungal, and viral infections: Adrenaline suppresses the functioning of immune cells required to combat infectious diseases and thereby increases a person’s susceptibility to bacterial, fungal, and viral infections. Higher stress levels increase our susceptibility to H.pylori infections in the stomach and common gastritis. Chronic stress can increase the chances for Urinary tract infections in females. (1,2)

(7) Increases muscle tension: Adrenaline increases blood flow to muscles and causes increased muscle tension. This leads to tension headaches that we often experience at the end of our working days. The tight muscles can cause headache, shoulder pain, backache, and body pain. Chronic stress induced muscle tension can later predispose us to fibromyalgia, etc. (2)

(8) Decreased interest in sex: Adrenaline decreases the testosterone produced in men and estrogen in women, both needed for sexual arousal. Chronic stress can cause decreased sperm production and erectile dysfunction or impotence. (2)

(9) Altered menstrual cycle: Chronic stress can cause irregular or no menstruation. Sometimes it can cause heavy or painful bleeding. (2)

(10) Creates psychic disorders: Chronic stress is one of the fundamental causes for conditions like overeating, under-eating, and alcohol and drug abuse. (1,2)

So what exactly is the solution for attaining health?

The answer is simple, but tough to achieve. Wipe away our daily life stress!

You might be wondering how we can avoid something which seems so ingrained into modern life. The first step is to bring uncontrolled thoughts and emotions into our control.

To do that, we can use a variety of techniques. NLP psychotherapeutics, mindfulness, and meditation are all wonderful tools we can use to achieve mastery over our thoughts and emotions.

SOURCES

(1) The Science of Emotions: Dr. Fahad Basheer

(2) The Effect of Stress On The Body: Ann Pietrangelo

This article (The Chemistry Of Stress & How It Affects Your Health) was originally created for Collective Evolution and is published here under Creative Commons.

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Broccoli Can Stimulate Brain Regeneration, New Research Suggests

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Broccoli Can Stimulate Brain Regeneration, New Research Suggests

Sayer Ji, GreenMedinfo

For decades it was believed that brain regeneration was not possible. But an accumulating body of research now reveals that common foods such as broccoli contain compounds capable of stimulating the repair and renewal of nerve tissue

Ever since Santiago Ramón y Cajal, the father of neuroscience, declared “nothing may be regenerated” in the adult brain, the idea that you can repair or regenerate damaged brain tissue was precluded by this central dogma. But compelling evidence for brain regeneration began to surface in the 1960’s with a report by MIT scientist Joseph Altman that the hippocampus of adult rats and guinea pigs and the cortex of cats indeed underwent a process termed neurogenesis,1 i.e. the growth and development of nervous tissue.

In the decades that followed, more and more evidence began to amass showing the brain is in a continually dynamic state of self-repair and self-regeneration, relying on neural stem cells to replace and repair damaged and aged tissue. Clearly, in an era of widespread neurodegenerative disease which the conventional medical establishment claims are incurable, this discovery is encouraging. If the brain can regenerate, the key is to find out how to prevent interference with this process and/or ascertain methods to increase and support its innate self-healing capacity.

In a previous report, we looked at research on a compound found in turmeric known as aromatic-tumerone. This fat soluble component appears to be an ideal candidate for enhancing the brain’s natural regenerative process. Learn more by reading How WHOLE Turmeric Heals The Damaged Brain.

But this is just scratching the surface. We have indexed over 45 natural substances with putative neuritogenic properties which can be viewed here: Pharmacological Action: Neuritogenic.

The newest addition to this list is sulforophane, an incredibly powerful sulfur-containing biomolecule found in cruciferous vegetables. Our sulforophane database contains research on its potential therapeutic value in about 200 different conditions. You can read our recent review on this amazing healing food component here: Top 10 Reasons to Eat Your Cruciferous Veggies.

A recent study published in the journal Genesis entitled, “Effects of sulforaphane on neural stem cell proliferation and differentiation,” reveals that sulforaphane may have significant ameliorative properties against the underlying pathological disturbances found in common neurodegenerative diseases such as increased oxidative stress, inflammation, perturbed calcium homeostasis, and neuronal death. The authors of the study theorized that sulforaphane may mitigate these factors, along with stimulating neural stem cells (NSC) activity. An already robust body of literature exists indicating that sulforaphane has the following beneficial pharmacological actions:

  • Up-regulation of nuclear factor erythroid 2-related factor 2 (Nrf2), which increases innate antioxidant mechanisms.
  • Suppressing of interleukin-1b (IL-1b), to exert its anti-inflammatory effects.

In contradistinction, the new study sought to evaluate if sulforphane is capable of protecting, and regulating neural stem cells in such a way as to confer neuroprotective properties. It also sought to determine if sulforophane’s therapeutic properties depend in some way on its Wnt signaling properties, which has been identified as a key molecular pathway involved in tissue regeneration.

The Promising Study Results

First, the researchers determined the optimal concentration range of sulforophane in promoting neural stem cell (NSC) growth without harming neurons. The researchers determined that “Concentrations of less than 5 mM did not induce cytotoxic effects, but rather potentially promote the growth of NSCs.”

Second, the researchers determined that sulforophane indeed modified genes in the WnT signaling pathway.

Finally, the researchers determined that exposing NSCs to sulforaphane resulted in their differentiation to neurons, lending powerful support to the hypothesis that sulforaphane could stimulate brain repair. 

The researchers concluded:

“In summary, we demonstrated that the crucifer-derived SFN can effectively stimulate NSC proliferation and differentiation by modifying genes in Wnt signalling pathway. Due to its lipophilic property and low molecular weight, SFN has a high bioavailability as an orally administered drug (Houghton, Fassett, & Coombes, 2013). SFN represents a food-derived compound that has been successfully translated from lab bench to clinics. (Bahadoran et al., 2012). It can be expected that SFN would see a shorter clinical path toward the market. Our data indicate that SFN is not only an Nrf2 inducer, but also a Wnt activator, which places SFN in a category distinct from other phytochemicals. The effects of SFN in restoring Wnt signalling provides a wealth of opportunities for the treatment of stem-cell-related diseases characterized by suppressed Wnt signalling. Further clinical studies are warranted to corroborate the neuroprotective effects of SFN in patients.”

I believe this research provides compelling evidence that the consumption of sulforophane-containing foods may have therapeutic value in brain degenerative disorders. Considering that sulforophane is a naturally occurring biomolecule which has been part of the human diet since time immemorial, it is likely that its regular consumption via culinary practices delivers physiologically significant quantities in a delivery system — food — that is safe and effective in the prevention of disease. Also, it is an astounding feature of this biomolecule that it has been identified to have potential value in preventing and/or treating about 200 different health conditions. This means that the side benefits of consuming it are orders of magnitude higher than one would anticipate if one were simply looking to consume it for one specific concern. That’s the amazing thing about healing with whole foods: their health benefits are too vast to bottle-neck into simply one or two applications. 

What Is The Best Way To Obtain Sulforphane?

While all Cruciferous vegetables contain significant amounts of sulforaphane, the sprouts of broccoli have several orders of magnitude higher concentratiuons of sulforaphane versus the mature broccoli plant, gram-per-gram. Learn more by watching the informative video below:

About the Author

Sayer Ji is founder of Greenmedinfo.com, a reviewer at the International Journal of Human Nutrition and Functional Medicine, Co-founder and CEO of Systome Biomed, Vice Chairman of the Board of the National Health Federation, Steering Committee Member of the Global Non-GMO Foundation.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of Collective Spark or its staff.

(06/12/19)  GreenMedInfo LLC. This work is reproduced and distributed with the permission of GreenMedInfo LLC. Want to learn more from GreenMedInfo? Sign up for the newsletter below:

www.greenmedinfo.com/greenmed/newsletter.

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A Message For People Who Fear Being Alone

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A Message For People Who Fear Being Alone
Photo Credit: Collective Evolution

Robito Chatwin, Wake Up World Education

We all have issues. Some people feel that they are not worth much of anything, or feel that the world is not on their side. Other people worry about their physical appearance, or what others think about them. There are people who always have to be right even when they know they are wrong, and then there are others who can’t help feeling envious of those who have what they do not.

These are just some of the many issues that influence our lives, and they are very complex, but, nevertheless, our deepest issues always seem to stem from one life experience that has had a particularly traumatic emotional impact, and more often than not, that traumatic life experience usually seems to come from our childhood. I would even go so far as to say, based on the conversations I have had in my life, that our biggest issues can most often even be linked back to our parents.

My biggest issue, for example, was a fear of being alone, and I have self-diagnosed this as coming from the fact that my dad left my mom before I was born, and chose to have nothing to do with me. In other words, he abandoned me, which left me with a deep need to be wanted.

During my teenage years and early twenties, I got that attention from being the center of my social scene and chasing the ladies, but at some point I of course realised that ultimately you are still left feeling alone.

I hadn’t worked out yet that real happiness comes from within, so I next found solace from a series of serious relationships. My mom named me a ‘serial monogamist’ after the ‘serial killer’ who repeatedly moves from one highly destructive experience to another.

I was always faithful and highly committed in these relationships, but the formula was all wrong. I was getting involved because she was attractive and interested in me and that made me feel good about myself. Furthermore, she was also lacking on some deep level in her own confidence, which meant that she would want me to be there for her, and turn to me to feel more secure.

Ultimately in such a relationship when both of you are so unconfident with who you really are or what you really want, you start to defend what you do know. You first start to force your opinions on the other person, and then, before long, you are both trying to change each other. This causes a lot of pain and heart ache.

Eventually I repeated this pattern one time too many, and after another nasty painful break up, I made a conscious decision that I will never repeat this destructive experience again – ever!

I had already been reading up on spirituality for a long time by this point, and understood completely that my pain was coming from looking for something external to make me happy.

Spirituality teaches us that we must first take time to be alone in order to discover our Self (who we are) before we can be of any use to anyone else, so when I decided to actually take the plunge and live by the teachings of spirituality to see what actually happens, it was with a very profound purpose to first and foremost be completely on my own for a while.

Katharina and I met in Santa Marta while I was travelling the north Caribbean coast of Colombia and connected instantly. You know the situation – when you meet someone and it feels like you have always known each other. By the time we said our ‘good byes’, a brief romance had already developed.

Now we were Skyping that we could choose to spend some more time together before continuing in separate directions if we wanted. It was I who originally suggested it, and it came from a real desire to spend some quality time with Katharina while we still had the opportunity, but at the same time it opened up an internal can of worms, and suddenly I was not a happy bunny at all!

I felt intensely conflicted by my own suggestion. I was thinking to myself that this is what I always do. I choose to be with a girl instead of being on my own – always with devastating results!

Katharina tried to console me by explaining that we will get to know each other much better, and in the end walk away as friends, or as much more, but nothing really bad can happen.

I knew from past experience that she was wrong. It can go very badly indeed. We could fight and blame and shout and cause pain, and I’m not going to go through that again!

I messaged Katharina that it was not worth the risk.

But as I calmed down, and my internal panic subsided, I was able to listen more closely to my intuition, rather than to my mind going through past experience overload.

Whereas in the past, my intuition would tell me that getting further involved with this girl is not a good idea, my head would be saying that nothing bad can really happen so just go for it. My head was always wrong!

Now my head was telling me that it is madness to hang out with this girl more, whilst it was my intuitive spirit telling me that nothing will go wrong. This time the messages were the other way round, and what was changing my mind was my Self!

We went together to Guachalito, one of the paradise beaches that are only accessible by boat across the ocean from Nuqui. Here, my positive bubble was fully inflated, and I was fully in my element surrounded by wonderful nature! – Waterfalls, huge rocks, jungle, sand, sea, and camping, and amazing company. The perfect situation to be romantic together!

We had a really unforgettable time, and we still keep in touch today, but I did go back to travelling alone and headed south to Ecuador, while Katharina made a brief trip to Nicaragua before heading home to Germany.

Choosing to be alone is a really tough thing to do. It takes real inner strength! For when you are completely alone without anything external to distract your attention, all you are left with is your Self and all of your fears.

But it is such an important and healthy exercise to get to know who we are and what makes us tick. Unfortunately most of us rush from one external distraction to the next without taking some quality time to get to know our Self first.

One day while I was sitting with Katharina on the beach in Guachalito, I finished the book 1984 by George Orwell; he concludes that we human beings are doomed because everyone has a fear that is so great that they would rather give up love than face that fear.

I faced that fear. Became friends with it. Years later and I now love being alone, and I found my soul mate.

It can be done. I proved George Orwell wrong.

About the Author

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The Power Of Vulnerability

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The Power of Vulnerability
Photo Credit: Collective Evolution

Vulnerability is about being honest, and this includes embracing our dark side. No matter whether we find ourselves on the conservative spectrum or liberal, we often abuse morals and ideals in order to avoid our own shadow. In this turbulent ‘Trump era,’ where values fly high for all sides, vulnerability could become the currency that returns our sanity. My intention here is not political, but recent events coinciding with personal ones have created some urgency around the issue.

In the name of righteousness and higher ideals — personal, social, or political — we often establish a perimeter of comforting beliefs around us. This way we don’t need to face our own fear and insecurity. Instead of taking responsibility for our insufficiencies, we respond with judgment and morality. Fearing to face our simplicity and delicate humanity, we try proving our sophistication through how good, spiritual, or moral we are. Survival at any cost justifies the means to an end, but is basic survival what we really want?

If you’re interested in understanding how comfortable you are with your own vulnerability, take a moment to sense how you respond to abandonment, rejection, judgment, or betrayal. 

Vulnerability Wasn’t Top Priority Growing Up

For most of us, childhood experiences left lasting imprints. When we got out of line, according to the values and needs of others, judgment or ridicule often followed. It became unsafe to express feelings and fears. Almost as a natural consequence, we began pretending that we don’t need anything and can do it ourselves. Hiding our true needs became the best strategy and we embarked on a journey of manipulating our way through life. To say the least, we became creative in coming up with ways to keep our true needs hidden — even from ourselves. 

We learned to trust that suffering shown through sadness, crying, or pain point to or represent our vulnerability, though even these seemingly obvious markers may not really be signs of such at all. Often they are more representative of (un)conscious of manipulation of our partners. It’s safer to express needs through suffering. Not from bad intentions, but because it’s not as exposing.

What we call a ‘need’ easily turns into ‘demand.’ And what we often call ‘vulnerability’ becomes our personal way of blackmail and punishment. Even waiting silently and lonely for a response after an argument can ‘look and feel’ vulnerable. However, deep down hides a righteous expectation to be seen or heard. If we look close, we can discover pain buried beneath.

Practicing Vulnerability With Those Close to Us Makes Us More Human

When we’re truly vulnerable, we don’t use morality as a weapon in judging who’s right or wrong. What we do is recognize and acknowledge our feelings, fears, and needs. We do not generalize or base our arguments on past events, but respond to the feelings stirred through a specific event. We take off our masks and become available to ourselves and others. In many ways, we actually choose to become choice-less.

Betrayal, sacrifice, and other patterns that result in disappointment become central themes in our close relationships, but this is mainly because we enter those connections protected and guarded in the first place. Sacrifice, for example, is a tricky form of manipulation. We feel pain and righteousness at the same time. Sacrifice always leaves us with anger in our belly and the sense of missed opportunities.

I remember the deep pain I felt when my partner rejected my attempts to ‘help’ her time and time again. My response was to shut down and give her the silent treatment, while at times also throwing some moral judgment her way, such as “I give you everything I have, and what about you?”. But was I open when I gave so much, or rather feeling morally superior by loving ‘more’? I placed myself in an untouchable place and at the same time lost my vulnerability.

In relationships with those close to us we have a rare opportunity to exit the spiral of survival that gives us the illusion of staying on top of our game. That place which makes us believe we’re protected by high ideals, values, and other virtues — and sometimes also by self-judgment that we’re evil beyond repair. 

Search for truth is a delicate process and doesn’t follow any defined path other than facing the complexity of our human existence as honestly, responsibly, and sincerely as we can. So long as we choose our personal safety and false importance, we prevent the power of vulnerability to guide us back to our hearts.

Vulnerability Can Be One of Our Greatest Teachers

There’s a big difference between saying and feeling things, and so a sentence like “I don’t need anything and can do it alone” can easily slip off our tongue. Nevertheless, the pain of loneliness and abandonment remains. There is no doubt that we can and could do many things by ourselves, like raising children, being without close friends, a lover, touch, recognition and the list goes on. 

But what we really want is to learn to express our fears, and needs. Our demand for acknowledgment, the requirement to have our needs satisfied, or maintaining moral high ground, all leave us in a state of fight, in which receiving becomes impossible. Vulnerability forms the basis for our receptivity.

In expressing true vulnerability we hold the ground for our feelings and needs. We sense it as a state of integrity in which we accept the totality and complexity of our human imperfection. It’s a place of power, in which we accept that we need and thereby acknowledge our dependency on each other. It’s empowering when we connect with our humility and simplicity.

Where to begin being vulnerable?

Vulnerability is best expressed in the “I” form. We take responsibility for our own state of mind and feelings, and don’t hold our partners prisoners to our moral standards and ideals. We don’t use sacrifice, guilt, shame, or judgment to drive our point across.

It’s challenging, since it leaves us with little or no protection other than the acceptance of who we are. The “I” form takes the guessing game out of the relationship, where we expect our partners to ‘know’ what we fear, feel, or need. 

This way those close to us can decide to satisfy our needs or not. Everything else turns into an expectations game in which there are no winners, and this triggers resistance. They feel manipulated. And for us, vulnerability holds the key to accepting more parts in ourselves, which forms the basis of coming out of hiding and denial, and into our light.

This article (The Power of Vulnerability) was originally created for Collective Evolution and is published here under Creative Commons.

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